I'm back, babey (but for how long?)

not me actually posting on DW!

social media has decayed my brain and long-form things seem like a lot of effort now but I think it will ultimately be a positive thing to read and write things here now and again. I was sometimes a little inconsistent in the old LJ days too but I was much more used to this format. I really want to unfuck my brain as much as possible in 2025 and, idk, maybe have less distant interactions even online. MAYBE even get back into fandom creativity, although I'm not making any promises.

it is very like me to be filled with thoughts of self-improvement on the eve of a new year while simultaneously acknowledging that I am and always have been a massive flake. that said, I have definitely become more realistic and able to set a few achievable goals over the years. I am in the process of wrangling everything that has popped into my head and turning that into something I'm capable of doing.

speaking of wrangling myself, I have been using the Finch app for a lot of this year and it has helped me keep on track with a few things! taking care of a funky lil guy really helps. if anyone else has it, my friend code is 9DECTQMHTM.

I suppose I should also make some new icons too. I quickly made some of these (such as the one on this post featuring my beloved Kyle Hyde) a few years ago when I started this journal up but most of them were taken from my old old LJ and don't really represent things I'm into right now.

and maybe, just maybe, I should type properly again. I wonder if this style is a bit hard to read.

songs that haunted my brain in 2024

I'm gonna x-post this here too so that I can actually find it again one day. you know, for science and nostalgia and stuff.

I was thinking about all the songs that my brain constantly piped at me so I decided to make a brain wrapped(tm) of the top five based on frequency and intensity (based on unreliable memory).

5. Hopelessly Unholy (Orchestral Version) by Kite. this appeared late in the year and it was already a song I liked (both versions) but suddenly my brain was reeeeally pushing it on me. I get a lot of Kite in my head because I really really like 'em.

4. Seltenen Erden by Sturm Café. my brain loves a bouncy synth. only this low because it's also a late entry but it was played VERY intensely even if I don't know many of the words (which is probably why the end gets played more).

3. Bend My Body Armour by A Split-Second. I don't know what these lyrics mean but boy is it catchy. please know I'm also thinking about the linked video clip a lot too. Marc Ickx still has these exact moves several decades later.

2. Slice Me Nice by Fancy. this song is summoned randomly and when I see or hear the word 'slice'. 'I'm like a cake that wants to be baked / I'm like a pie made for hungry guys' is unbeatable. I listen to italo disco now and then but Tobias Bernstrup also released a remix this year.

1. The Garden by Einstürzende Neubauten. this started very early in the year when I was listening to a bunch of EN and similar and looped for many many months so it takes top spot.

bonus content: I am soooooo glad I got to see Kite live this year. there were only 20-30 people in the room at most and I felt kinda bad about that but they were SO GOOD and are honestly my fave band of the last couple of years. the album VII from this year is perfection.